tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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