letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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