You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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