I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
