If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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