omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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