i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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