she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
