it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
