Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize