he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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