I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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