She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
