She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
