By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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