she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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