ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
