He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If that was your dad, he is hot
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
