I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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