Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
