I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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