i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize