my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Buhtt sex?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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