we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
