ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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