i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
