I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
