Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
