I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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