Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
