hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
