i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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