careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
