it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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