Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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