my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So much Jack, so little girl.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
