ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
