there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
