I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
