Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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