I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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