I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize