i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize