so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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