Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
