apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
