Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
