420 ftw
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
