Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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