Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
