I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
