I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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