ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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