I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
