I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
