who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
im holly from the hills drunk
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
