After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
