i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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