You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
