I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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